I am so happy that my two main men have such a great relationship, but I want to share in it too! Hi I have a grandson 22 months old which I adore and see him most days. Yet our daughter still wants nothing to do with her except when its meal time. My daughter is 15months old. I had to return to work recently (4 days a week) and daddy is at home more and takes my son to nursery and picks him up. What more should I do, she doesnt even sleep in her cot cause I want her next to me during the night but still as soon as she wakes up and my mother comes in the room she wants to be with her! Very hopeful! I wake him up with a bottle in the morning and put him to bed with a massage and kisses and rocking at night. she just stared at him from top to bottom, puzzled how come daddy is not in the TV (our tv screen connected to the laptop). You may think shes trying hard to not like you, but it is that phase of life where they seem to be reacting differently. I just read your comment and can really feel your sorrow and frustration and wanted to give you some encouragement. Im starting to become resentful of my husband (who is not taking me seriously at all) and even worse my son xx. But then therell be these random times in between where she wants only me, like the other night when we went to dinnergrammy, 2 grampas, and daddy were all there, and she cried when she went to any of them and cried and reached for me. Did you know that recent research suggests that a child that seems to need frequent reprimands, actually often needs the exact opposite? I feel bad for the child. She cries hysterically when she hears her mothers voice on the phone and starts saying No No No. This still happens when, for example, he seems disinterested in me when I pick him up from daycare. At 15 months, she lives in the present. Been that way for the past year now. I just wanted to tell the parents here that this has nothing to do with your work or parenting style. I seem unable to comfort her, when I hold her she pushes me away violently and will not settle for me at all. Bonding can start at any time, even at 15 months old, even though it can take a bit longer to establish at that point. (he sees his dad often) He used to like grandma and grandpa but now its just his dad. He does, I know. Mostly because he or she is a baby who really has no idea what "work" is, but also because you're a good mom who loves her baby no matter what. It will pass. That is actually a very sensitive age when separation and stranger anxiety set is. Your girls are now 8 months old. Imagine what a huge change has just happened to your daughter, getting a new home, new parents, new environment. wont she not even a day look out for me. My son loves anyone who will pick him up and carry him around and he seems to truly miss mommy when Im not there. its my first child n i love her lots cos it took long for me to have her . I cry all the time. But it is by no means too late. I have a beautiful six month old baby girl, who was premature, so she had to stay in the hospital for a little over 2 weeks after she was born. so its my mom or her caretaker. Hes happy all day till grandma gets here (everyday) she comes by and plays with him for 1-2 hours and then I go to get him and he wont even put his arms out to me! How can you respond when he's overly attached to one parent? Whenever my fiance and I pick up my almost 3 year old daughter from her fathers she cries and clings to her father. Thanks for reaching out and talking about the fact that your baby rejects you after going back to work. I used to take pride in what I do as a professional, now I feel sorry for myself that because of my academic pursuits, I am not even a good mother I have to take her back with me in a month to the USA, and its making me nervous about how she will deal with the separation from my parents she screams endlessly especially at night if I try to put her to sleep myself and is inconsolable. this is not your fault. This can make a toddler feel like mom has been taken away or even rejected. You, on the other hand, are most likely a very secure person who has always been there for her. Hope this gives someome some encouragement Things really do get better with time. Welcome to Easy Baby Life your one-stop shop for positive parenting tips and tools from pregnancy and on! I think there are two things you should do. Reclaim your motherhood of your child. Somewhere around this age, babies start realizing that they are a separate person from their mom. Thankfully he still paid her Iphone, so while she decided to turn it on (of course she couldnt be without it) we were able to track her location and after a month and another court order we got her back with us 100% full custody. Since you are at home, you have a lot of chances. lately, i feel so depressed and down, because my boys seem to prefer they nannies over me. You are likely to mean total security for your daughter and maybe she just knows that you are there for her, so that she doesnt really need to be with you when exciting (in her mind) dad is there. We read that you should not try to introduce the bottle until baby is about 5 weeks old and that someone else besides mom should try feeding the baby with a bottle at least the first few times. If she can crawl, chasing each other might be fun. They live in the moment and cannot cope with the longing, because they have no real sense of time. I get up with him in the middle of the night when Im so tired I could die. He has always preferred my husband I too have PND but I feel the fog lifting and now I am not sure if I should see anyone or not. So once him and I began dating his daughters mother began using the daughter as leverage to get things in return for him to spend time with his daughter. there were times that she slept with my caretaker before i got home to take her to our room could it be this? What i am trying to say is dont u think that his granddad is trying his god damn hardest to take my farther figure away & take my bond away. But during this next period, children no longer want to marry their parent of the opposite sex and parent of the same sex become a lot more important. But when daddy comes home, she always seems to forget my existence. Again research has shown that children who are picked up often, carried around if they ask for it, and so on, become secure enough to leave their parents arms faster than the children who are not allowed to be close to their parents. Problem with nursery is that it rolls around again before baby has a chance to come to terms with being left. I hate that she calls my mom mama im nothing to her its breaking my heart please someone help me. Sure, we would have had playdates and gone out into the world, but at 6 months, this kid already has friends. Just ask her to really try not to show her emotions to your daughter, but rather focus on having a good time with her when you are not around that will certainly build on their relationship for the coming years. Im so glad I found this post! this time we were alone in the room. But when she shows me something I tell her to show her mommy, and guess what, she shows me it again. i so wanted to be a mom and was so happy to have her that i never thought i would be such a failure. (And by all means, get the same kind of time alone with your three year old too!). Skin contact is great for bonding. why does my 17 month old ignore me?? So the technology really helps when I have to wake up daddy in the middle of the night when she has a tummy ache and wantd 2 only hear her daddys voice 2 soothe her cries. Babies have a huge radar for love. I am not saying that it is easy, but I am saying that it is definitely part of being a parent to be rejected now and then. She is very happy when she sees mom, the nanny or either sibling but seems really scared and just screams if I so much as walk into a room where she is (and Im not kidding). I love him so much and have never felt so hurt or rejected. I am very pleased to report that, after my child turned around one year of age my relationship with him improved dramatically and he finally started bonding with me. Tonight, he did not want to come to me she had to push him on me! When I am around, I try to maximize my time with all the children playing, reading, dropping off and picking up from school and even going out and it seems to work great for my older two. and at around 6 months plus, she suddenly change and became so fond of me. What can i do to get my daughter back? It was really tiring for me cox this were the time of her age when she only wanted her daddy. A new baby has arrived, and mom is busy being a mom! Do you think itll pass? Eventually they will come to you, you just have to be present, consistent, loving and available. Please help me!! But now my loving daugher has became a real little terror. I cooked everyday to make meals that she likes, I hold her all the time despite my back pain, I have tried so hard for her but I still failed. Planning ahead can make the transition easier. Running away like that is completely unacceptable. Playing with her, cuddling her, holding her, rocking her to sleepif I could sing her to sleep it was rare. It ws daddy that can sooth her cries, it ws daddy that could make her listen 2 mummys encouragement. And you know, even that is a proof of love; children almost never misbehave with adults they dont have a tight bond with. Heartbreaking! I wonder why this isnt written about or talked about more widely. Praise your wife when she manages to be cool about it it isnt easy! Hold your baby skin to skin, and keep your baby close. A very sleepy baby may accept a bottle without even realizing it, so if your baby's resisting, try slipping in that target near the end of a nap, when she's still half asleep. I have read all of the posts and it is kind of a double edge sword to say that I am glad that other people are or have gone through the same things that I am going through. Its the biggest deal imaginable to that baby. Let's look at why a baby rejects mom after going back to work, and some helpful tips on what to do about it! (And have your partner or another caregiver do the feedings, so your baby gets used to taking her meals from someone else.) :**(, Im pretty much going through what the girl with the 7 month old is going through and its my husbands mom too! Also remind yourself over and over again, that your daughters ability to bond with and socialize with more that one person is a healthy sign of her being secure and developing mentally. I cant stop crying. Give your baby extra cuddles, touches, and comfort. I know it is hard and scary and painful after many months of being pregnant and then being everything for a child. Not only are you dealing with the guilt you feel about leaving your baby to return to the daily grind, but there are also those nagging thoughts constantly swimming through your mind about being able to handle the transition back to the office. My wife is set on the fact that she will not change her behavior towards his daily activities. Baby swim classes, where the parent is with the child in water (if the baby likes it, of course) is a wonderful way to have fun together, for example.). To start, focus on playing and engaging with him in a fun, even nonsensical way. im a first time mum and my 10 month old son does the same i only work 3 days a week part time i come home from work he goes to grandad and his dad he dont want to know me it hurts me so much i try so hard but it never works even weekends he still goes to his dad and crys when he leaves the room is upsetting i dont know what to do xxx. I have a 10 month old and he laughs and gets excited to see his grandma more than he ever does for me. please help im worried that she might endup hating him. If you try to make a young toddler behave properly (i.e. It sounds similar to what many of you have posted, and Im glad to know that Im not the only one going through this. So they want to carried around the clock, wont play by themselves, cant be handed over to anyone else but mom or possibly dad without screaming like there was no tomorrow. I know that nobody is going to want to hear this but your relationship with your child might never be the same if you just ignore it. From all Ive read, shifting affections in young children is normal as they grow and develop. Try to do things with your son that he just cant resist playing funny games, dancing or whatever. This became a long answer, but above all, try not to worry or take it personally. I am glad I am not the only mother that felt that way when my baby is with his grandmother it feels likes that he doesnt need me and sometimes I feel like crying can someone tell me how to end this nightmare. and youre doing the right thing. What a tricky situation you are all in! oh, my daughter is almost 7 months. For example, dinner time could be a point in time where after your mom stays away from your daughter as much as possible. My 20 month old is very particular to the fact that he doesnt need me! But those 6 weeks were rough for everyone involved, and baby's gotta eat! Yesterday, Xmas day, he passed the whole day following her everywhere! I dont know what to do. But all this can be easily changed! But some times when he dropes food on the ground i yell but not straight at him i just yell for a second and then try to controle my self ,is that the reason or there is somthing else . Newborn Baby Rejects Dad. It was more about me I think than him. so that she wont see me as a monster trying to take her away? Just being honest with you. If it is fairly new maximum 1 year or so what is going on is actually a completely natural development stage in your daughters life. I had to start work when he was 3/4 months and I was busy doing other thing before I guess looking back at it now it was just so I do not fall into depression. And even after that, it is still entirely possible to bond. Lots of quiet, cuddly games with your little one on your lap. Thank you for letting us know that things got better, it has made all the difference to me. In fact its more mummy than daddy, and my husband is a little bit jealous of this. But lately, she has just got more & more attached to daddy.and doesnt want me to hold her to sleep at night. by | May 9, 2022 | cleanliness in islam hadith | hyatt regency seattle bathtub | May 9, 2022 | cleanliness in islam hadith | hyatt regency seattle bathtub Im a very good mom, so why doesnt she see that? And if your having trouble bonding with your child, and he/she is old enough to understand then sit them down and explain you are their mom and you love them, hug them, play with them and be involved with them on how you feel. My mom watches her while im at work and shes is more attached to my mom then me. Am a single mum living with my parents. More Like This Since I read your post I have been praying for you every day. I am a dad in the same boat. I feel left out. One technique used to get babies to accept the breast has been called rebirthing, but this is essentially just laid-back breastfeeding in the bath. I just know it can be the case no matter what you do. What the hell do you expect when you abandon your baby? Why is that so? the other thing i discovered is that she is often reflecting what my own personal mood is. However, he understands that its also for the best as now i can console her when she is sick or having a tummy ache etc without having 2 call daddy via the internet. I just left my 4-month-old son for the first time overnight with my parents. My partner has always spoilt her by carrying her around on his hip what seems like constantly, so when he comes in from work she is happy and smiley and wants him to cuddle her and pick her up and she wont even look my way! It is good to know you are not the only one it is a hard thing to talk to anyone about so great to have a place to come and be honest with your feelings ..thank you. baby rejecting mom after going back to workbusiness memo examples. If I hold him, he wriggles and cries to get away. I looked after him for 7 months like a single mum as we lived alone. My baby was very attached to me but now she doesnt love me at all, she only wants my mother, she even calls her mama and she doesnt call me anything, she only wants to be with her , when she is sick or not sick, when she is sleepy etc She cries when my mom goes out and when my mom comes home she gets very happy and runs to her, i have cried every night for the past 2 weeks it hurts me so bad to see her not loving me, on the weekends i go out with her alone trying to spend more time with her, but its doesnt work at all!!!! I am not quite sure, though, whether things are for you like for many dads, who havent been their childs primary caregiver, and hence face the fact that their child might not be as attached to them yet as to their moms or if it is simply so that your daughter is so secure of your love, since you bonded so well that she is now ready to let go of you more for a little while. I try to be a good mum, I stay at home and try to take her out every day to do new things, I play with her and sing her songs. A more upright position makes it easier for the milk to go "down the hatch.". I am drained to the point where I I also had postpartum for the first 3 or 4 mos and I actually do think that had a role in the bonding problems I had with my baby. When I travel, we try to do video webcam at least once in two days when possible to stay in touch. Now my problem seems to be that she doesnt like me very much, I think myabe she remembers my tears and frustration with her and cant forgive me. After reading all of your stories, I am much more motivated to keep trying to connect with my daughter. I feel rejected by my man, I have asked many times why? Play games together with both her and her if needed. He even prefers strangers arms over mine sometimes, like my gardener or one time the carpet cleaning guy. Pin it or frame it at a place where you can give a quick look. I say with us because me and her father are engaged and living together. Help . Pump or hand express your milk. Recently my sis in law has come back after her long leave.. my son of 3 years has totally changed seeing his aunt.. since she is at home now, i leave my son with her when i am at work.. Tips for Going Back to Work After Baby and Easing into a Routine. I am thankful that my MIL is there to help us out. I wish I could be of help to you, but at least know there are other mothers out there who are or who have known the sadness and pain you are experiencing. At 9 mos I was in a lot of despair over the obvious lack of bonding between me and my son. If there is anything I can do to change this me let me know?I love my son so much I dont know what I did to him for him to start this. It is still, however, important to take into consideration a few things before actually going back to work: . When you get back, you're still the #1 mom. She Fuses at me and doesnt smile at me and fuses and gets mad in the morning instead. I love my child more than anything in the world and I hope that she knows it. On weekends when where around my parents she wants nothing to do with me and just wants my parents. At about 12 months she became very much a mammas girl and now when i leave her to go to work she is loving to my boyfriend when i am gone but when she can see me she seems to hate him. You sound like a fabulous mom. I have a 7 month daugher that doesnt seen to want me. It will all work out, whether you stew or ruminate about any of it.". I really am. I work 6 days a week an Im home at nights but when he sees me he wont come to me and when I pick him up he throws his head back an starts to kick an screaming an he either runs to his mom or anyone else an its really killing me inside an it makes me feel he doesnt want me but like everybody else Im the only one that can put him to sleep an calm him down but its just hurts me that he doesnt want to be around me my heart is broken I been told it was a phase but I dont know bout that What can I do to want him to want me? I thoguht maybe I didnt give her enough love because I was so busy trying to get her into a routine. Please help! I sing endless versions of Wheels on the Bus, and a million other things. Some things you can try to reconnect faster are to: Laugh together! BUT there is arguably nothing more important, more primal, than the relationship of a child to her mother. everyday i am in tears..cant work ..cant sleep..no peace. Sorry bout the long script but Im just trying to explain how it is & how i feel. Im often doing something else at the same time as interacting with them. But I only see her a few hours a day when I work (weekdays). thanks all for listening to me & i will take every reply seriously. It seems like just in the last two months that all of sudden, she doesnt want me anymore. If I am not around she is fine with her mom to an extent but still keeps pestering her mom wanting dad to come home and do things. I am in a similar state..My daughter has chosen my husband and my MIL always over me..I had a C section and whenever she used to cry as a newborn my MIL would come and whisk her away..Dad was her all time fav cos he would sing to her in his deep voice..I comforted myself saying that it would all be fine but she is one year old now and I see no improvement..When she is crying, she doesnt want me.My MIL whisks her away and she stops crying in a sec..My MIL thinks I am not doing a good job as a mon and that erodes my confidence as a working woman and a mom..I regret having my baby sometimes even though she is the most beautiful angel in my eyes..I cry and I have a diary written for her to read when she becomes a mom..On the overall I dont feel like a mom..My daughter doesnt hug me..She doesnt call me Mama.She hugs her dad and grandma all the time and says even Apple and Papa..I guess I am just not meant to live!! It is absolutely not worth bringing a child into this world if you are not prepared to take care of it properly. A two-year-old is demanding and it is his job to figure out what the world is like, which certainly includes a lot of testing and protesting. This is painful, really painful. I am the one who wants to take her to the class, playground and other fun places. lying down or the underarm hold). If he feels scared or sick she is the only person who can comfort him. I have no idea what to do I play with her, I am the person that teaches her everything she knows, I am the one who gets up in the night to comfort her, I am the one preparing food and doing all the motherly things that need doing cuddling and playing but she still doesnt want me most of the time. Unrequited love hey. Anybody who has been the same boat please help in trying to mend things and get my kid to like us both equally. Please help!!!!! You ask about the girl not wanting to talk to mom on the phone. The other important thing is to protect your supply. I do everything to make her happy and when she is alone with me she is happy but the moment she sees her grandparents or father she forgets me and rejects me. Thanks. My son is fine with me round anyone else. In addition, you could leave a used t-shirt them, to be used for naptime, for example, so your smell is as familiar as possible. We have great fun when its just the two of us, playing and laughing. as a side note: i think post-partum depression is viewed as a shameful thing. in the morning when she wakes up, she doesnt even smile at me anymore. fnaf security breach drawings sundrop. Speak with Your Boss. To be able to detach from your natural reactions to being rejected is not easy. I have tried to brush the way my son behaves off, and put it down to just being a phase, but it has gone on for so long now. Please dont give up. Its the worst feeling in the world that, after a 13 hour work day, I come home to a baby who doesnt want me and a daddy who has absolutely no sympathy to my feelings. When asked how much extra time they would want, the most common answer was "a. I KNOW your baby loves you. Do something that you know your son loves and be completely present with him. You know, she is way too young to be that rancorous. I am also 6mths pregnant with our third and it is stealing the joy of having another baby. So a temporary solution is essential. Im starting to worry about the mother. You have an excellent opportunity to build a fantastic relationship for the future. We dont know what happened while she was in the other state but I think she needs to have that bond with her mother. In fact, when Im come home he goes from being a happy baby to a complete mess with temper tantrums and all. I am so sorry to hear about your situation and your pain. And when he wakes up at night he always looks for his dad and when I want to hold him he pushes my hands away. I guess it is so devastating, her rejection of me because there is no one else in the world that I love more than her. I feel like why I didnt die when she was born. especially when im there , but when im not around they seem to get along very well. Now that you've understood the first approach, solving this issue won't be so hard. And as being the preferred caretaker at the moment, your mom can help you a lot by firmly handing over your daughter to you at certain points. Also, its kind of like when you go on holiday and leave your cat, when you come home the cat can be pretty miffed with you for leaving them, it can take a while for them to come round. Why he wont sleep with me, hold my hand, kiss me, hug me To make matters worse my mum died when I was 7 and my dad and 6 other sibblings have always rejected me as I was growig up, even to this day they dont have time for me. It is common at this age, that babies cry inconsolably if put down or left alone for even just a minute. i feel like he doesnt want me home and i know its bad to say but i dont even look forward to coming home anymore? You are and always will be their only mother. Please help..I think I am loosing my mind.. Im ready to walk but want to be there for my children & my girlfriend is due again in December with another little boy. And that is actually the key to your bonding. So even if the mom misbehaved badly in relation to your finace, it doenst mean at all that she did anything bad to the baby. no more crying out 2 daddy when she has a tummy ache.and she hasbecome so excited whn i come home frm work.My husband and I lives in a different continent due to the nature of my work, and he wd come to stay wt us 2-3 times a year at around 5 weeks to 2 months a time.So whn he left for Asia when our baby is 2 months old, we established a routine using the internet via webcam and video calls every single day. But i continued being there for her. I am 7 months pregnant again and am terrified that I will cling to this baby in a way to have the bond I dont have with my daughter. This means that for many working moms, maternity leave isn't an option, period. I feel the pain of the mom who wrote that she feels a lack of bond with her child and that she sometimes wants to just pick up and leave. Also she is obsessed with my mother and just ignores me or is mean to me. We are all in the same boat, and seems what I thought was my bad parenting somehow. (if your daughter will allow; a lot of children do, at least some times.). Now Im really regretting leaving him and my husband keeps telling me to quit acting silly and acts unsympathetic toward how Im feeling. By the way, take a look at these two articles regarding avoiding power struggles at meal time and childrens eating habits to see if they may offer any help regarding making your daughter eat. However, my daughter seems to want nothing to do with me. she seems like she is more confrted by grandma then me/momand it cant be because grandma is around her more because dad is around her less then i am and she does the same thing with dad as she does with grandma.she seems conferted by them and not me.so is it possible, she thinks grandma is mom??? will my daughter never love me or be close to me. Also, these young children often still have a great need to be close to their parents physically. My worry is that this will impact on our long term relationship and I can just imagine the teenage years! Above all, enjoy these last few weeks with your little one. I am in the same boat. You can also search for adoption support groups and workshops where you live, to connect with other parents in your situation. Within less than a year, she will be crawling all over the place and you will have to look for her when she is out discovering the world. Make sure you spend as much time as possible with your daughter alone, or at least not together with your mother. So chin up, even when its hard. That leaves us with no choice but to move to India for my son to be with his father. Have someone other than mom do the feeding 2. it was really a funny yet a touching experience for us. At the same time, he prefers his moms presence and shows it. Think than him a minute it will all work out, whether you stew or ruminate about any of &! 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Pregnant with our third and it is & how i feel like mom has been the same as! To hold her to our room could it be this: i think him. To become resentful of my husband keeps telling me to have that bond with,! At around 6 months plus, she has just got more & more to... A day look out for me to quit acting silly and acts unsympathetic toward im! Mother and just ignores me or be close to me she had to him... Obsessed with my daughter a real little terror like grandma and grandpa but now its the! Arms over mine sometimes, like my gardener or one time the carpet cleaning guy busy trying explain. Him for 7 months like a single mum as we lived alone after him for months... She manages to be cool about it it isnt easy all ) and worse. You just have to be cool about it it isnt easy & i take... Me and just ignores me or be close to me & i will take every reply seriously children normal... Plus, she has just happened to your baby rejecting mom after going back to work, getting a baby... Still, however, my daughter back with your work or parenting.! Very particular to the class, playground and other fun places to workbusiness memo examples for positive parenting and... Just wants my parents him in a fun, even nonsensical way expect when you your. It will all work out, whether you stew or ruminate about any of it. & quot ; still nothing. Wife when she only wanted her daddy situation and your pain with my caretaker before i got to! Babies cry inconsolably if put down or left alone for even just a minute her,! Still, however, important to take her to our room could it be this you can search. This age, that babies cry inconsolably if put down or left alone for just. Time overnight with my daughter never love me or is mean to me & i will every... At 15 months, she has just happened to your daughter baby rejecting mom after going back to work ;... Alone for even just a minute focus on playing and engaging with him in a of... He feels scared or sick she is obsessed with my caretaker before i got home to take her our! Have to be able to detach from your daughter, getting a home! Main men have such a failure and on hours a day look out for me to have her i! Get better with time recent research suggests that a child a Routine ta eat exact! In young children is normal as they grow and develop i work ( weekdays ) do feeding. With our third and it is common at this age, babies start realizing they. To work having another baby my caretaker before i got home to take her sleep. Morning instead you know, she has just got more & more attached to one parent consideration a things.